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Wow... so I haven't posted in like a week of sumfin or nuffin. I'm already a bad blogger. That's kinda sad. But I'm going to stop winging. "Winging" is Australian for "whining". "Whining" is English for what annoying people do. So I'ma stop. Before I become annoying....er.

You know what else is Australian? Lamingtons. They're little cakes that aren't that good and are covered in chocolate and coconut shavings. I don't really understand them. It's like eating... well little cakes that aren't good and covered in chocolate and coconut. Sometimes they fill them with jelly. Then they're like little jelly filled cakes that aren't good and covered in chocolate and coconut.

I don't get a lot of things about Australia. Like why don't people have wallabies as pets. I mean really. Of the local fauna, it's the most reasonable choice. And they're a little more interesting than cats. I mean consider the options back in the day:

"Mummmmmm I waaannnna peetttttt!!!!!"

"Ok dear, I'll just make an order back to England through the officers that keep us stuck here on this isolated continent because we suggested that equality was a value worth spreading twenty years ago. You should have your cat by the time you're 34."

OR

"Go outside and get a wallaby."

Really? Really?!! REALLY!?

Yeah so I want a wallaby. His name would be Wally, and he would like to eat dinner with me at the table. His favourite food would be chocolate halava, but he would also be a fan of bakalava and marzipan. Wally's favourite colour would be fusia, and his favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon would be chasing the cat and calling it a foreigner. He never chases mice, but somtimes he'll look for wombats.

Anyway, enough about Wally. More about Australians.

Australians have tripthongs. Tripthongs are funny things that only Australians do to their vowels. For example, the word we know as "no" (or "know"), we pronounced "no". In Australian it's prnounced "naui", as in "Naui, I don't naui where I put it". Or more accurately, "Naui, oi dain't naui whai oi put i'".

Fucking incomprehensible.

But I joke - I understand them fine, and enjoy their cute little tripthongs. Ironically, they also like to call flip flops "thongs". I asked one whether three flipflops made a vowel. I was punched. In the teeth.

Ok I'm done for now. I'l be back soon.

Wondering why I've called this blog "Save the Sea Cows!"?

Lata, skata